Engagement Ring Etiquette

There are a lot of different ways to approach the questions of wedding ring etiquette. I can tell you the traditional rules, but I would like to add my own opinions and throw in some common sense ideas to help out modern men and women. We aren’t living in the 1800s.

Engagement Ring Etiquette: Cost

Men: If you are playing by traditional rules, you (or your family) must pay for the engagement ring. And, don't become a cheapskate. If everything goes according to plan, your future wife will be wearing that ring every day for the rest of her life. On the other hand, it is not uncommon for a woman to chip in so that she can have a ring that she really loves.

Ladies: Here are a few situations where I think it makes sense for you to cough up a contribution:

• Your man is divorced and a large chunk of his paycheck goes for child support.
• You are a cradle-robbing cougar. (Lucky girl.)
• You earn more than your boyfriend does.
• You want something better than your man can provide.

Engagement Ring Etiquette: How Much to Spend?

Men: The DeBeers diamond company suggests that you spend the equivalent of two months’ salary on a diamond ring. That’s an arbitrary amount and you don’t need to spend that much if you are unable. Remember that most decent jewelers will allow you to “trade up” for a larger stone, in a few years, when you are more established.

Should You Buy a Large Diamond?

Whether you like it or not, a woman’s status is sometimes appraised, as a first impression, by the size of her rock. Is this stupid? Yes. Does it really happen? Yes. In general, younger men spend less on a ring and older men spend more, however there are lots of exceptions to this rule.

Diamond Solitaire Engagement Rings

Most women prefer a diamond solitaire for an engagement ring, but there are no rules saying that you must blindly follow the DeBeers ad campaigns. Some women like other precious gems. And, just like some women wear colored wedding dresses, it’s perfectly acceptable to use a ruby, sapphire, emerald, black diamond, or whatever you want for your engagement ring.

My personal opinion is that if you wear a CZ wedding/engagement ring, you should plan on replacing it with a real gemstone (of any kind) in a few years, but it’s your call.

Must You Have an Engagement Ring?

Not every woman cares about getting an engagement ring. Some chicks want a plain wedding band or an eternity band. I would say that an eternity band with diamonds or gemstones would be a good substitute for an engagement solitaire, but I feel that wearing a plain gold band before the ceremony would be weird.

Should the Man Surprise His Girlfriend?

Men: I think it is very romantic for a boyfriend to get down on one knee and propose in Hollywood style. If you are going to pick out an engagement solitaire (on your own), you should make sure that the store will refund your money if you are refused or your sweetie wants a different ring. You can present your chickadee with a plain solitaire ring (Tiffany setting) and allow her to choose her own setting.

How to Wear an Engagement Ring

In North America, most women wear engagement rings on the fourth finger of their left hands. Before the wedding ceremony, a girl puts her engagement ring on her right hand so her husband can place her wedding ring on her left hand. After this, a woman has two choices:

• She can put her engagement ring back on her left hand while keeping the wedding ring closer to her heart. The engagement ring will be on the outside.
• She can keep wearing her engagement ring on her right hand forever.

In some European countries, the engagement ring is worn on the third finger of the right hand. However, there are lots of cultural and familial variations. You can wear your engagement ring however you want, but this is one time that you should consider family traditions.

Family Heirloom Ring

Men: You can give your girl a family ring but things could get sticky if the engagement is broken. Do consider this before presenting your sweetheart with granny’s five carat ring.

Who Gets the Engagement Ring?

If an engagement is broken, proper etiquette is for the girl to return the ring. On the other hand, each state has its own legal precedents. Some laws say that an engagement ring is a gift and the woman may keep it. Some laws say that an engagement ring is a conditional gift, which is something like a contract to marry. If the engagement is broken, the contract has not been carried out, and the woman must return the ring.

I am not a lawyer and the following circumstances are just my personal opinions:

• If the ring is a family heirloom, the girl must give it back.
• If the engagement is broken because the guy is a jerk (for example, he cheated with his fiancée’s best friend), I believe that she held up her end of the bargain and the woman should be allowed to keep the ring.

If the stone is valuable, you might need a lawyer to determine ownership. Engagement ring etiquette can vary by country, by state, by religion, and by family. I feel that a man should get his girl a great ring; however he should not go deeply into debt. With a beautiful setting, any diamond or gemstone will look fabulous.

Just Like Kate Middleton's Ring

Buy Sapphire Engagement Rings Just Like Kate Middleton's Ring

The Royal Wedding, which takes place on April 29th between Kate Middleton and Prince William, has sparked a huge interest in sapphire engagement rings. While most people will not be able to afford a ring with an 18-carat natural sapphire and 14 diamonds (the ring cost $65,000 back in 1981 when Prince Charles gave it to Diana), there are lots of websites offering similar smaller carat, real sapphire rings, perfect for a romantic proposal on one knee or just to show the woman in your life how much you love her.

Real Sapphire Rings

The price of real sapphire rings varies greatly, dependent on the size and quality of the stone, the number of carats and the stone’s color and clarity. If you add diamonds, the cost goes up and then you need to factor in what the ring itself is made of; 18-carat white or yellow gold is usually the norm for an engagement ring, although many women these days prefer platinum or titanium.

In order to compare prices, you need to look closely at the total number of carats in the sapphire and if possible, the breakdown between the number of carats in the main stone versus any diamonds or other precious stones. In practice, most rings under the £1,000 or $1,500 mark don’t specify the carat weight of the individual stones.

Buy Diamond and Sapphire Rings

Here’s a selection of some best buy diamond and sapphire rings, similar to or simply inspired by Kate Middleton’s’ stunning ring:

• Goldsmiths has an 18-carat white gold oval sapphire ring surrounded by 10 small diamonds, retailing at £999/$1,600 with interest free credit available.
• The Natural Sapphire Company specifies both sapphire and diamond carat weights and stocks ring from under $1,000 to $75,000 and upwards. They have a 0.95 carat sapphire and diamond ring retailing at $550, similar to the one in the first picture below.
• Brilliant Earth has a pretty halo-shaped sapphire ring surrounded by a ring of tiny diamonds and diamond accents on the outside of the ring; minimum carat weight of 0.3 for $3750/£2320.
• H Samuel has a Diana inspired sapphire and diamond engagement ring in 18 carat yellow gold for £799/$1,280.
• Bluenose lets you design your own ring by choosing your stones and style of band. Why not choose a ring with two pear-shaped sapphires to embed the diamond of your choice ranging from 0.4 to 1.5 carats? This ring shape priced at £1,100 means you can determine the exact weight and quality of both the ring and the stones before you buy.

Kate Middleton Engagement Ring Copy

If real diamonds and sapphires are beyond your budget, our article on Where to Buy a Kate Middleton Engagement Ring Copy offers advice on where to buy a replica ring inspired by William’s bride-to-be.

Entry prices for look-a-like Kate rings are well below $100/£60 but the best rings are selling out fast, such as the imitation ring offered by Imitations, featured in the above article.

Diamond Sapphire Rings Make the Perfect Romantic Gift

You may not be getting engaged in 2011, but diamond and sapphire rings, small or large, make the perfect Valentine’s Day gift. Why not spoil the woman in your life by taking a look at what’s available to buy online. Just don’t forget to check her ring size first!

Clothing Shopping Tips

1. Be prepared when you go shopping. Spur of the moment purchases are fine for small items, but they often lead to buyer's remorse. Before hitting the mall, take stock of what items are sorely missing from your closet and how much you can realistically spend. Be sure to dress comfortably and give yourself plenty of time in the stores. This will allow you to make decisions out of reason, not rush.

2. While shopping, stay focused on the clothing items you need. You may want to try shopping alone to avoid the distraction of friends. Always try on clothes in front of a three-way mirror and have a definite purpose in mind for each purchase. Keep in mind the body you have right now and don't be tempted to buy clothes for the body you wish you had. If you find a knowledgeable salesperson, don't be afraid to tell her what you are looking for. She'll be able to help you find the highest quality clothes for your budget, and she may even alert you to upcoming sales.

3. As you make decisions, remember that clothing shopping should be an investment. You should buy clothes of high quality that will last for many years. You may also want to buy items of clothing in complete outfits so you know that you will definitely wear them. If you find a pair of pants or a shirt that fits perfectly, feel free to buy the item in multiples. That perfect fit could be difficult to find again on your next shopping venture.

These shopping tips should help you fill your closet with stylish, high-quality clothes you will wear for years to come.